how to prepare for Russia

It’s fine, I’ll tell you plainly: I don’t really like surprises.
Yes, I enjoy getting unexpected emails…
Yes, I like to try new foods that could taste like anything (for all I know)…
Yes, I think small gatherings that accidentally turn into parties are fun.

But for the most part, I like to know about things ahead of time.
I hate waking up to my sister telling me we’re going shopping in 30 minutes…
I dislike vacations where my parents just drive us there without saying where we’re going…
I can’t really handle spontaneously driving to Chicago on a school night.

This isn’t to say I’m never spontaneous… I just enjoy things a lot better when I can plan for them. Wow I love planning. Sometimes I plan things without any intent to ever do them, just because I like piecing together information and ideas in my imagination.

So it’s probably not too big a surprise that it was rough not knowing where in Russia I’d be studying until 3 months before I was supposed to get there. In fact, if you had asked me in September whether I was excited for my semester in Russia, I would have mumbled something unintelligible about being kind of nervous but supposing it would be good for my language skills.

Then I found out I was going to St. Petersburg. Then I started to get excited. And you can only imagine my joy at receiving a beautiful, 98-page pdf student handbook! So much information! So many plans to be made!

Here are a few of my favorite excerpts from the handbook:

• “The hardest things about living with my host family,” an American student wrote, “is the fact that they are always feeding me.” 
• In many parts of Russia, complete strangers will offer unsolicited advice on a wide range of topics having to do with health. 
• Many Americans who have lived in Russia have been struck by-and some put off by-how frequently people touch each other. 
• Unlike American instructors, your Russian teachers will probably not provide syllabi at the beginning of your classes, and many will not make it a point to explain their overall plans for the semester. 
• Whereas American students often bring snacks to lectures, doing so in Russia will either puzzle or offend your instructors. 
• Do not drink the water there unless it has been boiled for at least fifteen minutes. 
• If you make eye contact with a male stranger, do not smile. 
• Some host families and dorm rooms still use rotary phones (the older type of phone where you literally dial the number). 
• It rains a lot, making Seattle look like Santa Fe. 
• Do not ever think that you can win a drinking contest.

And that, friends, is my semester. In the most dramatic of terms, of course.


Note: if you’re worried about me and my inability to be spontaneous, let me put your minds at ease. I can actually do unplanned things… I just have to be ready to be unplanned. I have scheduled spontaneity times. Mom, stop laughing at me.